I remember being younger hearing the shower upstairs start running and seeing my mother rush to my father's phone. I remember the look of curiosity on her face quickly changing to anger... andddddd I remember her grabbing that phone, stomping upstairs, hearing that shower stop, and seeing the drama unfold. I remember her throwing and breaking that phone once before.... my parents are major reasons why I never cared to "snoop" through my man's phone because I'm one of those people that believes that if you go doing something you have no business doing, you'll find something you have no business finding. And then again, if he was doing nothing wrong in the first place... you just look stupid for snooping anyway. The whole snooping idea is one of the main ways to test your levels of trust with people, because we have a lot of times where we just leave our phones down in front of our mates... but, no matter where my trust level stands with anyone, I will never stoop low enough to snoop just to get answers to anything when I can just ask you. Let me tell you a story, last semester, I was driving back from Saint Louis with my ex and he was questioning me about a guy friend that I had, me being a smart ass and confident in my loyalty to him, I offered for him to take my phone and get the answers he wanted for himself in exchange for his phone. See, I didn't consider that to be snooping because I asked and he would be right over me seeing whatever applications I went to in his phone. So, back to the story, after I offered my phone in exchange for his... he all of a sudden had this newfound trust in me and this friendship that I had with this other man. He did not want to inquire about it anymore and his whole energy shifted, as a woman, my "super senses" came in and told me that boy was hiding something from me. After back and forth and back and forth on this four and a half hour drive, he then wanted to admit to having a video of some woman giving his brother head in his phone. My thing is... why lie when I asked you from the beginning if you had something to hide. It is suspicious actions and responses like that, that make women want to snoop and dig deeper to see if there is more to what you are saying. It can be one scenario, one saying, one look, one action that can set off this habit of snooping and sneaking in order to get to the bottom of things. I barely trusted him before that ordeal, but that scenario caused me to think there was cheating and dirty deeds on his end up until I left him. You see, I grew up watching my mother get out of character all the time with the snooping and sneaking just to get clarity, and as a young child/early teenager I would feel bad for her because every time she did this, she would find something that would cause them to argue and .... at the end of the day, neither of them left and the issue was still there for a while. I would sometimes ask myself why she stayed if she didn't trust him enough to not touch his phone whenever he wasn't present. I don't think women understand how snooping looks from the outside... I don't think women grasp how it looks to glance back and forth between the phone and where your man is back and forth back and forth back and forth trying to make sure that you don't get caught. I don't think women grasp how idiotic it looks to get caught, because every so often you will slip up, and find absolutely nothing. I just feel like... if you cannot trust your partner enough to not look through their phone when the opportunity presents itself... you have some insecurities you need to work on, some trust needs to be built, and you need to grow up. Once the habit of sneaking and snooping starts, it is definitely hard to have restraint every time the opportunity presents itself and it eventually becomes a habit.
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