I like to think that, although we cannot completely restart our lives like most of us may want to sometimes, we do have a lot of opportunities for "retries". I took a day recently to ignore all messages and just go back to focusing on myself and I thought about this very idea and how it applied to my life. I can't reiterate enough how challenging dating can be for me, and I can say that at this point.... finding someone and sculpting someone to have a place in my life in that way is no longer a priority. It took a lot for me in general to get back on the market and try to be level-headed as I did so, but I find myself wasting a lot of time on situations and people that just do not work. There is a reason why at the beginning of all my interactions I state exactly what it is that I want, expect, and look for.... so that the person could tell me then and there if taking part in my journey is something that they can or cannot do. And realistically, most of them cannot. For all the guys that have wasted my time, I simply just wish you would've been honest at the very beginning because it is more than okay to do that. I have so many reservations and fears about sharing multiple aspects of my life with people, and it speaks a lot of volumes that I am still trying to do just that despite fighting myself on it. Regardless of being scarred, I do still have hope for finding love again, but I think that ounce of hope is getting smaller and smaller as time goes by because the options available are just pathetic. I don't know why this is not common sense, but do not present yourself to people and you do not have the time for all that interaction can bring. What annoys me most about the men that I have met, if you even want to say men, is that they make excuses for not wanting to put in the TIME. They make excuses for why they cannot send a simple text and I am past the point where I want to fight them on it because you shouldn't have to tell grown men what you need from them in order to make a relationship work. You should not have to sit a man down by the hand and talk in kindergarten terms to explain the boundaries when it comes to other women and going out. It is as if they have no common sense and when I find myself becoming repetitive in stating the things that are needed from the interaction, that is where everything has to come to an end and I am faced with another "retry". With these retries, I like to think that, yes I dealt with something that I did not like prior to this next person that may come along, BUT... how can things be different moving forward in order to have a long-standing and more effective experience. What are some things that I can change in order to make the experience better? Because... when you go through so many failed experiences, you do find yourself questioning yourself at times and wanting to give up love and relationships. Love does have its positive aspects and it is beautiful and worth the wait when everything goes right... and I like to think that my time will come at some point, and I guess I am optimistic and willing to keep "retrying".
Comments
Post a Comment