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.....Anddddd, Here's To Ending My Junior Year.


My junior year of college is coming to an end very rapidly and I have spent some time trying to figure out just exactly how I want it to end. Every year, I close off a level of schooling always having goals moving forward based on me and someone else. And now... I have goals from a single point of view that is single beyond relationships. I can now plan for New York living like I always wanted and pursue a career there after graduation. I can choose graduate school is Memphis, Tennessee if that is where my heart takes me. I can take a year off after getting my Bachelor's just to travel the world because I haven't gotten to see this beautiful world of mine as much as I have wanted to. The world is literally my oyster and I have just been taking the time to explore and think about all these different opportunities. I am closing off my junior year of college as a new woman. A woman that is more confident, more level-headed, more hard-working, stronger, wiser, more educationally-advanced, everything that I aspired to be before... I am now. I am ending off this year different from others and I look back on the whole year in general, proudly. Who would have known that I would push through all the obstacles that God threw my way, but then again... he has always gave me the toughest battles to fight through and I have always came out strong so I really shouldn't be surprised. As I end this school year, I recognize that I made too many foolish mistakes and I learned to move differently when it comes to many parts in my life. Like.... every situation does not need life to it. I can get bothered by some things and/or people, but the ability of those things to take me out of my character and remove me from a state of peace is not as easy anymore. I have learned to be mature in a sense where... I cannot pop off at everything that bothers me and I have to learn the value and strength in being able to walk away. I have learned to... love, but not necessarily as hard. To...care, but not necessarily more than for myself. Basically, I have learned to be on my own team and take care of me. I have always been my biggest critic, my biggest enemy, the one that criticizes myself the most and I have learned to stop doing that. Through many L's, I have learned to put myself first and take care of myself even if that means kicking people to the curb just to get there. Because, sometimes, you have to be selfish because I find myself caring and giving too much to people in a sense where I stop giving a damn about myself. As long as that person is happy, smiling, breathing, living life in the best way that they can... that's all that matters. But, I always forgot about me. I guess, the name of the chapter for my junior year would be Selfish because I spent a whole semester living for me and just being selfish because I never put myself first before. When it comes to ending my junior year, I want nothing but the best for myself.. and that includes the best career, teachers, educational opportunities, friends, family, man.... I want and I deserve the best and I will keep erasing and deleting each and every day until I get there. Junior year was by far my hardest part in college because everything tried to suffocate me at once... but, I still kept breathing. I am still here and  .... I am closing off my junior year with straight A's, a clear state of mind, anxious for the summer, and prepared for the next chapter in life. 



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