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Breaking Point.



Why is it so hard to say what you mean and mean what you say? If you don't intend on doing something, why let it come out your mouth? It is just a waste of your breath and a waste of our time. If I tell someone that I am going to pick them up, I am going to do it. If I tell someone that I am going to be there, whether physically, emotionally, whatever... I am going to be there. Why do people promise to do things that they just cannot do. I am literally fed up with it. What I don't understand is, why people struggle with something that is so simple. Because, if you really want to do something, like seriously want to make a change, you'll do it without complaints or finding excuses for why it cannot be done. Excuses was the key word. I think that a positive and negative characteristic of mine that always comes back to bite me in the ass is naturally being more caring about the people that I let into my life, and I am learning to place barriers on that. If people need me for anything, I am the type to come in bad weather, call off work, swipe my card, whatever just to be there for you and place a smile on your face. On the flip side, I find myself in relationships and friendships always asking for people to do even half of what I do for them. And for what? I should never have to ask for your attention when you can get all of mine when it is needed. I should never have to ask for a text back when it would be an issue if I did not respond to you. I should never have to reiterate that our union (friendship/relationship) is not just about benefiting and supporting you. I get so wrapped up in being a good friend, family member, partner, lover... that I downplay my own needs and what makes me happy. No more. I get way too invested in people, and once they discover all that I can give, they suck all the life out of me to meet their own needs and it is not okay. I am in the mist of taking a year for me... a year for Briahna Paige. A year where I can care less about what the hell you want because I spent years trying to help and love on you. A year of... I have been selfless all my life and we sometimes need times to be selfish. A year of... I love you, I care about you, but I will walk out of your life at this very second if you can't get your shit together. I know that I am a good person with a lot to offer, but do YOU know that? Do you understand that this energy that I give off, friendship, affection, attention... can turn into nothing at all because you cannot reciprocate? It. is. not. that. hard. Oh, how I wish people would stop making excuses for why they cannot do things because they are afraid. Getting soft and being afraid can make you lose out on all the things that you might have been asking for because you want to be lazy and make excuses. Do what you have to do as a friend, a cousin, a partner, whoever.... because being a decent any of those things is not that damn hard. Communication should be common sense. And in most cases, all you freaking need is to respond to a message. Talking respectfully? Is not that hard. Making time for the things that are important? There are 24 hours in a day and you're telling me that you cant spare at the minimum one hour out of a day for someone that could be at the least 5 miles from you? All of this is hypothetically speaking, and a lot of people reach their breaking points when they should not have to. Today, we talked about it.
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