The past few days, people have been trying me, yet I have provided them with opportunities to change that. Today, I decided to take the initiative to cut off my "best friend" due to her no longer being fit to have that role anymore. Was the decision hard? Far from it. I say that... if you allow people the opportunity to come back into your life from a previous mishap, and they did not learn from it from not having you present in their life then, then they are not fit to be a part of your life. I do not grieve over losses of people in that manner anymore because I make decisions that are going to be best for me. If it is best for me to cut ties with people that I have known for years, so be it. Whether it is friends, family, whoever... because you will not have a place in my life where you choose to be toxic. We are not going to speak on the countless nights where you called and I was the only one there to talk to. We are not going to speak on how you questioned whether you were a good mother and I was there when you cried about it. We are not going to speak on... how your first love tried to build a life with me, saying fuck you along the way. We are not going to speak on how many people called you a liar behind your back and how I defended you. We aren't going to speak on how you wanted to front like life was perfect, yet you were getting beat on the whole time. When I have disagreements with my REAL friends, we don't bring up the past and say things to hurt each other for a "fixable" situation, we talk it out, yet you felt the need to dig up my past in order to make yourself look great. Me, I am not on that type of time. There is no double thinking, no questioning, nothing else after the moment you decided to hurt me through your words just to prove an invalid point. What I had to learn today was that, when I am on my highs, the devil will try to be very active and use whatever people and situations around me to take me off that high. You, no matter what your status is in my life, will not be a pawn in his game to bring me down. I could've buried you a long time ago and made you look stupid, but I chose not to. My maturity, patience, and growth levels were tested today because this "child" tried to bring me out of my element. I am not doing the back and forth with the messages. I am not going to stoop to your level and talk foul just to hurt you because "I cannot hold an adult conversation without being rude". That is just not my cup of tea. As mothers and fathers, I believe that through that child you brought into this world, you should act as if the person you want that child to be. You should act accordingly because you are examples for them, and.... if there was ever a moment where someone could call you too immature and petty to be a fit mother, it was through your actions today. I am grateful to have released my burdens today because they created unnecessary weight, and, when people place harm and conflict into your life, there should be no question about whether or not they are worth being in your life. Because, I understand what type of person I am and what type of friend I was, and I even more so understand that you stopped being worth having that title placed upon you. I cannot be accessible to you at all times because I have a life of my own with responsibilities, too. I go through issues, I go through battles, I get tired, I overcome and I fall, I am human, therefore you cannot always be top priority. We are adults. I walk away from my decision today with my shoulders no longer heavy because I have love all around me. I have friends, I have family, I have everything in place in my life to result in me being happy, therefore not having you is not considered a loss, but a gain. But you, you clearly stated that you have no one in your corner to root for you, therefore who is really at a loss? What she tried to do today was use my moments of shortcomings as foundations for the whole relationship and label me as a bad friend knowing that I was not. And for that, YOU, ma'am, you are on the short end of the stick and YOU lose.
Girlfriends was by far one of the best television shows that I grew up watching, and still watch to this day... and when I think about the type of women/social circle that I would like to be around, Joan, Toni, Mya, and Lynn is exactly what it would look like. I remember starting off the sixth grade and traveling up until high school with a huge social circle filled with all these different types of girls and young women with varied personalities, values, and beliefs. Throughout that time, my social circle remained large, but there were some tweaks here and there and some people were not meant to last. What I mean is, we outgrow some relationships, we drain out some relationships, and we sometimes stop putting forth the effort to keep up effective relationships. Over the course of those years, I developed a lot of meaningful relationships and developed a slight sense of what type of people I wanted to be surrounded by. One of the major adjustments that I had throughout graduat
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