Anyone that has been around me for years understands how bad my anger once was, and how far I have come. Now, I didn't say that it's 100% better, but there has been some type of improvement. One of the things that I do not appreciate about people during first interactions is that, we put off this persona that we are perfect without flaws. Or, we downplay our flaws to be something tolerable, when we could very well know that we are troubled and/or toxic individuals. It's a selfish thing to do right off the bat, and it is something that I pay attention to. One of the things that I appreciate when I meet somebody is whether or not they take that door that I have open for them (through asking questions) and take the initiative to be honest and admit their own faults. I asked a guy yesterday why he was single, and he did not place blame on the other person, he was honest about it being him. Another guy once told me that he feared commitment, and I appreciated that honesty, too. First interactions with people are important in my book, because whether you see it or not, it tells you everything you need to know about a person before the relationship, before the fights, before the heartbreak. Through asking the right questions and being attentive, a person can tell you all you want to know in as little as ten minutes and what you decide to do with that information is up to you. I think that... it is also irresponsible on our parts to go into meeting someone new, friends and or people of interest, and expect them to be "put together". Everyone has some type of damage and baggage lingering on, it is just a matter or what the baggage is and how they are dealing with it. Us people leave bad situations with expectations of going into something new that is perfect. We expect to get hurt, leave, and get into something else that wont hurt us, too. Reality check, we are all flawed people and everybody is going to hurt everybody, just not in the same way. We have to be realistic and not have these expectations when people come into our lives. Us ourselves are moving on from troubling situations searching for peace and healing, so why can that not be expected from the next person? Especially from younger people who are all just trying to figure it out. We are 21, walking away from first loves and turmoil, expecting marriage and well-put together men just because most people in our generation are popping out kids and shacking up just to end up single parents and kicked out of their apartments in a few months. We mock. We copy. We lack LEADERSHIP and INDIVIDUALITY. Having one heartbreak and one long term relationship, or losing one bestfriend, whatever the case... does not make you an expert on what being a good partner or friend is. Whether you are 21 or 59, we are always constantly learning and we will never know everything. Walking into new situations, we should be realistic and unbiased. When we tell those people that we might have trust issues, we should be open to the fact that they just might, too. And.... if we choose to allow those people into our lives, some things we cannot necessarily fault them for because those might have been the outcomes of the trust issues that this person made you aware of. We are constantly changing, constantly learning, flawed... individuals. Be open to the pain that some people might cause, because those are always setups for growth. But, on the flip side, be open to embracing the positivity and beauty from those people as well and using it as inspiration for yourself if you lack those things. With new people, we should invite people into our lives that contribute to our growth and teach us things. Invite in people that are going to hit you with the harsh reality, show you how to or how not to love, to act, to be.... take the time to really get to know people before lying on your back, or calling things love. Listen to those people when they rant about their exes and the people that did them wrong, and don't just take their word on it, either... ask and search for their parts in those situations to learn their patterns because those same patterns will be used with you. Meeting new people is not always the easiest thing, nor is the "getting to know you" process, but the "getting to know you" process is always skimmed over and downplayed because people are in such a rush to get to the light at the end of the tunnel. I guess the lesson is... if you don't take the time to listen and study people right off the bat, you will never learn the things you need to learn or know the things you need to know when you need to know them that is necessary for success.
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