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Facebook Topic: What Is Preventing You From Being With Who You Really Want?


"What is preventing you from being with who you really want?" is a question I just saw on my Facebook page and I wanted to answer it. I, myself, is what is preventing me from being with the person I really want. If I am even sure this is the person that I want, I don't know. I stopped pursuing relationships a long time ago. I tell every dude that tries to establish something with me, that, I do not take anyone seriously until they show me that they are serious, and that is advice that I got from my father. I never listened to him about men before, but I have started to because he understands you creatures way more than me, lbs. With that being said, I don't settle down and focus on one person and I choose to keep my options open. I don't sleep around at all, but still, I mingle to see whether or not I want certain characteristics in a mate and I take the time to simply learn what men expect and want from women, and what I want from a man. I am.... not with the person that I want because I cannot trust people how I should. I hold baggage and I do not believe in entering something new and bringing along old problems that can tarnish what could possibly have potential. They don't necessarily understand it, but it is important for me to not bring that hurt that one man brought to another man that did nothing but try to bring the best out of me. I guess... there can be times where I sabotage myself. And.... there is one guy that I am interested in.... we talk every single day, all day, he does all the right things, says the right things, is simply perfect and there are times where I find myself purposefully pushing him away and I can never answer him when he asks why. I hope he doesn't read this blog today, because I find the courage to answer that question here, behind a computer screen. Part of me doesn't feel as if I am ready for all that he can bring to the table because I know that it can last. Part of me points the gun at my own self because... I don't think I am good enough for him. And then... there goes the complications of old baggage and the ex that still lingers and causes complications that I still hold guilt for putting my foot out the door and leaving behind. There is the overall fear of starting over and getting to know somebody new and I hate doing that. There is nothing preventing me from being with the person that I want, but me. Me, and my conversations with myself and my insecurities. 

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