Skip to main content

dreaming.


I keep my head in the clouds a lot of the time because I am in love with the idea of dreaming. I am amazed with the idea of fantasizing and creating my own destiny within a matter of seconds. I could be rich as soon as I close my eyes. I could have the perfect husband and kids, by my own definition, just by focusing on an object and daydreaming about it. Anything that I want to happen, or do not want to happen, can occur all in one sitting with closing my eyes one time and that is what makes the idea of dreaming beautiful. I grew up around a lot of people that had dreams, but did not necessarily get to follow them. These people made excuses and counted themselves out, basically doing everything to deprive themselves of getting the life that they always wanted. With my life, and the way that I go about making decisions in it, I would hope that people would be able to look at it and see that I was able to follow my dreams.... and in return, that will encourage other people to do the same as well. Since I was a child, I was a dreamer and a young girl with a huge imagination that saw the world as mines and who wanted to accomplish and conquer it all. As a young adult, now, I look back on my expectations of dreaming then and compare them to my expectations now and … as a kid, I did not understand the obstacles that would be placed in front of me to prevent me from dreaming my dreams and accomplishing the goals in my dreams. There will be people placed into our lives that stand as distractions towards getting to those dreams. There will be people that manipulate you into believing that you are dreaming too big due to their our selfish needs and possible jealousy. I didn't think far ahead back then to understand that it is a lot easier to let a dream go, than to pursue it in a sense because there are more things in your life that might NOT be in your favor. Therefore, it is a lot easier to give up. In this world that we live in, with these peers and these values, people are not set up to want you to win. Not only that, but if they do call themselves supporting the process, they will only support and help to a point where it does not surpass their own success. Because it is all a competition, right? It should not be. And... in this world that we live in... no one values hard work, nor the time spent to get to where we want to get to in life. We might not get that dream job in two years like we planned, but lets say it happens in five..... and in addition to it taking all that time, you were able to save up way more money through temporary jobs to be able to get a place to live and a new car well before you intended to. God allows things to happen for people when he sees fit. I like to think that, when I have learned all I have needed to learn, and I guess, when I am deserving of these things that I wish for.... I will be able to get that car. That house. That soulmate. Whatever it is... Back in September, that was the very first time that I thought about giving up my dreams. And, it was not because I questioned my ability to get there, lack of funds, lack of time... no legit reasons. But, it was because of someone that stopped believing in me, supporting me, and loving me in a way that I deserved to be loved. And, situations like this happen all the time, where we get too damaged by people that we lack the energy and motivation to continue to do well by ourselves. I wanted to deprive myself of all my dreams all together for the sake of keeping "toxicity" in my life, and I am glad that I was able to reach a place where I recognized that I was wrong. As you dream about living in New York or getting some expensive sports car, don't let go of that dream because a lot of people may think that you cannot do it. Don't dream of going to college, but choose to not go, because nobody in your family ever attended, nor do they believe that you can get through it. Don't think you cannot up and move to New York because Saint Louis is all you and your family know. Don't think that you cannot live a life where you travel constantly because your "girlfriend" gives you an ultimatum between making them happy and not making YOU happy. DREAM. DREAM, LIVE, AND REACH YOUR GOALS. Put yourself first and love yourself enough to give yourself the best when it comes to living your life because you should know that you deserve nothing less. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Most Popular Posts

Girl friendssssss !!!!

Girlfriends was by far one of the best television shows that I grew up watching, and still watch to this day... and when I think about the type of women/social circle that I would like to be around, Joan, Toni, Mya, and Lynn is exactly what it would look like. I remember starting off the sixth grade and traveling up until high school with a huge social circle filled with all these different types of girls and young women with varied personalities, values, and beliefs. Throughout that time, my social circle remained large, but there were some tweaks here and there and some people were not meant to last. What I mean is, we outgrow some relationships, we drain out some relationships, and we sometimes stop putting forth the effort to keep up effective relationships. Over the course of those years, I developed a lot of meaningful relationships and developed a slight sense of what type of people I wanted to be surrounded by. One of the major adjustments that I had throughout graduat...
Post a Comment
Read more

Facebook Chronicles.

My post had over 250 comments and 18 shares as of writing this blog. So, all different types of men come in my dms messaging me with different purposes. I've gotten nudes in my messages, wanna-be thugs, nerds, mixtapes, drama, and all these other things in my messages, but today was the ultimate breaking point for me. This guy, who has been trying to get with me for years, came in my messages trying to talk to me, which I denied, and he in return got potty within the mouth and said some disrespectful things to me. There were a few reasons why I shared the messages on Facebook and Snapchat that I really want to share. For starters, there are right and wrong ways to approach women when you come in their direct messages. I don't know how other people were raised, but meeting and talking to people online is already something sketchy because you don't really have a sure perception of how this person is through something where we can be who we want to be. Behind computer scr...
Post a Comment
Read more

How Do You Go About Letting People Go?

The past few days, people have been trying me, yet I have provided them with opportunities to change that. Today, I decided to take the initiative to cut off my "best friend" due to her no longer being fit to have that role anymore. Was the decision hard? Far from it. I say that... if you allow people the opportunity to come back into your life from a previous mishap, and they did not learn from it from not having you present in their life then, then they are not fit to be a part of your life. I do not grieve over losses of people in that manner anymore because I make decisions that are going to be best for me. If it is best for me to cut ties with people that I have known for years, so be it. Whether it is friends, family, whoever... because you will not have a place in my life where you choose to be toxic. We are not going to speak on the countless nights where you called and I was the only one there to talk to. We are not going to speak on how you questioned whether you w...
Post a Comment
Read more