There are so many benefits to cutting people off that do not deserve to have a place in your life. I speak as someone that has experienced the actual physical and mental benefits to that term.... realizing that someone does not deserve you, whether family, friend, lover is CRUCIAL to achieving your overall happiness and getting to where you need to be. Let me bring you all back, last semester I started off my first semester of nursing school a complete basket case and emotional wreck. Here I am trying to maintain good grades, keep myself together physically, balance a social life, maintain a job, along with dealing with someone that DID NOT DESERVE TO BE IN MY LIFE. I hung onto someone that sculpted my mind into believing that I was not good enough, I was not beautiful enough, that I was being cheated on... and that destroyed me emotionally. I dealt with that the first three months of that semester and I cried nearly everyday those three months and lost value in my life because of it. I did not realize that while I was fighting for someone to "have a seat at my table", there was no longer a place for them to sit! While I was trying to give them this four-course meal and fight for them to get this meal, THEY COULD NOT AFFORD IT. You get what I'm saying? It did not hit me until I failed at taking my life that I was tripping, that I was foolish and I was not thinking clearly and I would be better off without this person that I so heavily wanted. Fast forward past that, I got my head, heart, and mind together and I applied that term and the conditions of that term with everybody. After I failed at taking my life, I recognized the VALUE in my life and I told myself that I am not wasting time on people that do not deserve my time. Let alone, people that are not helping me become a better me like I am doing for them. Everyone around you should be able to challenge your thought process, motivate you, support you, show you love... and someone that causes harm to you and plays with your mind and time should not get a seat at your table. Through that lesson I learned, I make the decision to remove people from my life now without hesitating or changing my mind about it because I know for sure what it is that I need in my life to help me get to where I want to be a year from now, ten years from now, or thirty years from now. Through removing my parents from my life, I have gotten my feet on the ground and established independence and responsibility. There is more peace in my life from removing people that purposefully cause me harm and destroy my name. Through removing some friends and ex-partners, I have made room for better friends and a better companion. I thought I was happy once before, but I am more happier now knowing that I have the things that I deserve and that I can never get as low as I once was because I take care of myself in a sense of...... "I wont let a person into my life that will do this....."I will remove a person in my life if they do this"..... "I will set the tone for what I will or will not tolerate in a relationship or friendship by doing this...." It is all about being responsible for yourself and that is what I am all about, being cautious and careful about the people who I invite to my table because I intend on going places and doing great things and some people simply are not meant to be apart of that process.
Girlfriends was by far one of the best television shows that I grew up watching, and still watch to this day... and when I think about the type of women/social circle that I would like to be around, Joan, Toni, Mya, and Lynn is exactly what it would look like. I remember starting off the sixth grade and traveling up until high school with a huge social circle filled with all these different types of girls and young women with varied personalities, values, and beliefs. Throughout that time, my social circle remained large, but there were some tweaks here and there and some people were not meant to last. What I mean is, we outgrow some relationships, we drain out some relationships, and we sometimes stop putting forth the effort to keep up effective relationships. Over the course of those years, I developed a lot of meaningful relationships and developed a slight sense of what type of people I wanted to be surrounded by. One of the major adjustments that I had throughout graduat...
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