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Targeting The Younger Audience: Keeping It Real About "First Times"...

 Whoever told you that first times go smoothly, lied. I felt lied to and played the very first time that I had sex because... even though my mom said that it would hurt, that woman did not prepare me through any of our conversations for the pain that I experienced that day. Lol, today... I chose to pick this topic because my blog audience varies and I want to have something to talk about for everybody... whether it is for men, women, college students, high schoolers, virgins... everybody needs something. Perhaps, maybe when my daughter grows to become a teenager and I struggle to bring up this topic, this just might be what I reference her to. A few years ago, there I was spending the whole morning preparing for this event that I thought was going to be the most beautiful thing I ever experienced. You know what I mean... romantic, Love and Basketball type of thing, Maxwell playing in the background.... STEREOTYPE-type of thing. Naïve is what we were. For starters, maybe I jinxed the whole thing because we had no business doing it anyway, but I guess you can assume how things go and the decisions that you make when you are fresh "inlove". So, back to the little story, here I go scrambling around trying to put together these cute undergarments and find the perfect perfume and set the perfect mood just to live this little fantasy. Did I mention we were both virgins at the time? We were scared as hell, but head over heels for one another and just anxious to experience what everyone around us had already been talking about. Now, the very moment I laid there and let him stick it in for the first time, our lack of experience and knowledge on the subject showed and there is no amount of conversation or preparation that you can have for this experience and the emotions that tag along with it to make you ready for it. What I thought was gonna be fulfilling and beautiful was ugly and painful and I hated it. I hated it, he knew nothing, I knew nothing, but.... we kept trying. When my daughter comes to me one day, years from now, questioning sex .... I wont lecture her. What I will do is provide her with facts based on my experience in hopes that she understands and chooses to take her time because it just might not be like the movies. Love and Basketball had been one of my favorite movies for the longest time and I had always walked around thinking prior to that day, that my first time would be like that. But, if I really paid attention to it, I would have recognized her grimacing initially in the interaction, why? Because it can be painful on us women. Now, after that first encounter, sex and other aspects of it can be like the Baby Boy scenes and as beautiful as the oh-so-classic Maxwell song, but that first time.... I join the group of people that says that it symbolizes pain. As you choose your partner for your first time, please be cautious and SURE. That experience is not meant for just anyone that will do it any type of way, it takes time and someone that will be gentle. And outside of all the pain I experienced, I can say that at the least, he tried his best to do just that. If you take anything away from today's post, just take your time. Make sure that you are ready above all things and be more than sure that the person you are choosing to do this with will do right by you throughout the process. Your first time? Not a movie scene.
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