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Forward Ahead: A Letter To My Daughter ....

To My Love,

As of today, I am a year and a few months away from getting my first of many degrees and I thought of you throughout the whole process. I chose the major I chose to make sure that I would be able to get a decent enough job in order to be able to give you a better life than I have. Whether you wanted a car on your sixteenth birthday or an expensive ass custom-made American Girl doll, I would be able to go out and get it that day if I desired. I am pursing two more degrees after this one in hopes to increase those chances and if you wanted to go to college, I wouldn't be that parent to tell you "No, you cannot go to college because I cannot afford it." From my very first relationship at fifteen, I even had the mindset then that "everything I do now will be for my kids later" and its one of the sayings that I continue to live by. Your mother has been through a lot of trials and tribulations and she is at a point in her life now where she feels like she is a decent enough human being, especially a decent enough woman, to live up to if you ever were to say that you wanted to be like me. I have fought, struggled, and learned.. and hopefully through the stories that you will hear about me, you will recognize that your mother is strong and determined and those same traits will run through your blood, too. As you get older, I want you to remember above most things, not necessarily all, but above most things, to love, respect, and be responsible when it comes to yourself. It may sound easy to do those things, but some situations and people can test your love for yourself, cause you to have lack of respect for yourself, and cause you to be irresponsible. One important thing that I want to pass along to you is the importance of standing your ground when you get to a point where you're considering dating. If you tell a guy that you aren't ready and he keeps trying to pursue sex... PASS. If he isn't on his A-Game about his future, school work, and where he wants to go... PASS. If he lets you dig in your wallet more than he digs in his own... PASS. If he ever makes you feel like any other woman is "better" for him and puts you in a position to where you have to compete for him... MAJOR PASS. There is so much to teach you and tell you over what seems like a long time, I just hope that you take it all in and actually listen. When it comes to your first heartbreak, I get how it can tear you apart and all the emotional turmoil it can take you through, so I pass on to you to talk to me or whoever you feel most comfortable with because you cannot go through that pain alone. I ask that you stay on your school work NO MATTER WHAT because although I'm working hard to be better than your grandmother was, you have to work even harder to be better than I will ever be. I want you to aspire to be the best that you can be in whatever you love, whether you want to be a private chef, a doctor, a dentist, or a small business owner. Pursue whatever makes you happy, just make sure that you choose something that will help you to become financially stable. When it comes to friends, you gain some and you lose some and that's okay. Understand that everyone does not have the best interest for you and if they are about drama and conflict, stay away. Who you hang around is a reflection of you and you have to be cautious about who you associate yourself with and who you tell your business to because the scary thing is, there are people actually out here who may have the intent to harm you. As you age, be realistic and do not walk around naïve... you may not have a fairytale relationship and people do not live, nor stay in your life forever. I did not understand death to its fullest extent until I lost someone close to me and that was when it hit me about how naïve I was. Don't be naïve. My whole blog, and the stories that you will read and hear about me some day will hopefully be positive markers for you that really explain to you the type of woman that I am as of now. I don't necessarily want you to be like me because there are some mistakes that I have made and experiences that I've endured that I never want to come your way. All I am saying is... try your hardest to stay on the right track and be a decent person for your future daughter to look up to you, because I tried the same with you.

Love,
Mom
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