Skip to main content

The Friendships and Relationships That Last...


I did not understand the importance of friendship seriously until I found myself suicidal and alone. It was standing outside my campus library, crying as I walked, searching for my ex, that I looked around and realized that I had no one. It was in that moment as I was in pain that I realized that .... I had no one that I could call and talk to with all these devilish thoughts in my head. In that moment, I thought back on my life and the decisions that I made and I sat on that bench in front of Murphy Hall and asked what decisions did I make to contribute to being here and feeling alone in this moment? I had the answer, I just didn't want to state it, comprehend it, and make it my reality. I had started off back in elementary school being social because I got pulled under the wing of vibrant and experienced young girls. I then moved to middle school and experienced it with this group of different young ladies with so many beautiful personalities. In high school, I had friendships with all different walks of life (athletes, honors students, the people in between, and etc) and I found a life-long bestfriend here. I noticed that as time went on, my social selection narrowed and eventually got down to nothing as I got to college because ... through being in my last relationship, I was "altered" to being in something that was all for him, about him, and some more him. I had friends, but most of all my time was dedicated to him and I felt guilty for going off and doing my own thing even though he would do it sometimes, too. Through always being about him and for him, I guess I can say that I was half-ass in some of my relationships, which is difficult to admit. I was that friend that talked about her boyfriend all the time, and through being the single one in the bunch, now.... I notice a few of my friends doing the same thing and I recognize how annoying it is, lol. But, anyways, it was through him that I blocked my own self from having friendships that were 100% invested in by me. I now find myself always having time for my girls, while balancing consistent dating, and I find the urge to make it necessary to have some type of daily girls outing. In order to make these unions work, the time invested and the effort put forth is important. I didn't know what it was that I wanted from my friends as a kid besides some laughs and someone to sit with at lunch, but as an adult, the answer for that is more structured and detailed. I find it important to surround myself around women that are on the same type of pathway as me. For example, what are you doing with your life? Where are you trying to go? What are your goals? How are you handling your business? Do you have a daily hustle? Surrounding myself around hard-working women and women that are not on their ass is important. We can go out at night and shake our asses, but during the day are we handling our business and taking care of our own? Conversation is important. I get annoyed as the single one in the bunch talking about men all the time, therefore, our conversation needs to be less about man-bashing. Let's talk about traveling, our bucket lists, our aspirations, our concerns... lets make our conversation diverse. Finding friendships and relationships that last are more than just the simple things, it is oh so complex to me and I'm finally finding the time to figure it all out. I can think of two women off the top of my head who all these things may apply to and they're in the picture above. Now, Kat... she is the spunky, fiery, and opinionated one. She reminds me of the woman that I used to be, that pops off at the drop of a button and she brings me alive through our laughs and conversation. Her hustle, her drive, and her loyal characteristics are all commendable and aspiring... as the people around you should be. Our friendship is somewhat new, but it comes to show that being open to new people can sometimes turn into good things. Women like to use the excuse that they have a lack of female friends because females move funny, but I really like to think that it is because we deprive ourselves of the opportunities to be open to those new friendships. Every time we experience something bad, we like to place those burdens and expectations on the next person and that blocks so many blessings. Mackenzie... Mackenzie is like the old money to the new money and she is home. She is comfort, love, memories, and family. Mackenzie happens to always be there and willing to fight for me through any life obstacle that I may have and the loyalty and love that she has toward me is what makes friendships and relationships last. I told you guys that I didn't know exactly what it was that I was looking for before, but I'm figuring it out now and I'm developing the friendships and relationships that have the capability of being eternal. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Most Popular Posts

Girl friendssssss !!!!

Girlfriends was by far one of the best television shows that I grew up watching, and still watch to this day... and when I think about the type of women/social circle that I would like to be around, Joan, Toni, Mya, and Lynn is exactly what it would look like. I remember starting off the sixth grade and traveling up until high school with a huge social circle filled with all these different types of girls and young women with varied personalities, values, and beliefs. Throughout that time, my social circle remained large, but there were some tweaks here and there and some people were not meant to last. What I mean is, we outgrow some relationships, we drain out some relationships, and we sometimes stop putting forth the effort to keep up effective relationships. Over the course of those years, I developed a lot of meaningful relationships and developed a slight sense of what type of people I wanted to be surrounded by. One of the major adjustments that I had throughout graduat...
Post a Comment
Read more

Facebook Chronicles.

My post had over 250 comments and 18 shares as of writing this blog. So, all different types of men come in my dms messaging me with different purposes. I've gotten nudes in my messages, wanna-be thugs, nerds, mixtapes, drama, and all these other things in my messages, but today was the ultimate breaking point for me. This guy, who has been trying to get with me for years, came in my messages trying to talk to me, which I denied, and he in return got potty within the mouth and said some disrespectful things to me. There were a few reasons why I shared the messages on Facebook and Snapchat that I really want to share. For starters, there are right and wrong ways to approach women when you come in their direct messages. I don't know how other people were raised, but meeting and talking to people online is already something sketchy because you don't really have a sure perception of how this person is through something where we can be who we want to be. Behind computer scr...
Post a Comment
Read more

How Do You Go About Letting People Go?

The past few days, people have been trying me, yet I have provided them with opportunities to change that. Today, I decided to take the initiative to cut off my "best friend" due to her no longer being fit to have that role anymore. Was the decision hard? Far from it. I say that... if you allow people the opportunity to come back into your life from a previous mishap, and they did not learn from it from not having you present in their life then, then they are not fit to be a part of your life. I do not grieve over losses of people in that manner anymore because I make decisions that are going to be best for me. If it is best for me to cut ties with people that I have known for years, so be it. Whether it is friends, family, whoever... because you will not have a place in my life where you choose to be toxic. We are not going to speak on the countless nights where you called and I was the only one there to talk to. We are not going to speak on how you questioned whether you w...
Post a Comment
Read more