Poker Face.

I keep a good poker face because that was what I was raised to do. Your business is your business and everything that goes on with you does not need to be told. And, when you do choose to confide in people with your business... confide in them with things that you wouldn't necessarily care about to be thrown back in your face. So, if you choose to talk to your girl friend about your relationship problems... don't tell them enough to the point to where it would be embarrassing or destructive of your own character if you two were to fall out. You know? Because women are great for taking your business and getting diarrhea in the mouth with it once you two fall out. Not saying go into the relationship guarded, but just think before you vent. And, it isn't just specific to your friends. My mother used to tell me and my sister all the time, "What goes on in this house, stays in this house.." because family can have diarrhea even worse than your friends. Family tends to be more judgmental, too... so, that poker face will always come in handy. The crazy thing about the people being presented to you throughout your life journey, is that most of them are presented to you in a manner that suggests that they have good intentions. You know, like... they want the best for you, they are wanting to support you, they want to see you win. I hope that at this point in your life, you are not naïve to the fact that there are people presented to you that can act their asses off with those things and that there are some people being presented to you that actually want to cause you harm. For those people, never allow them to see you sweat. The opportunity to watch people fall, and suffer throughout their way to the ground, is like heroin to a heroin addict. We cannot contribute to their addiction and feed into this habit and we must continue to do what is in our best interest by staying positive and keeping that smile on our face. Yes, there will be times when we crumble, but everybody does not need to know that. Everybody does not need to witness each and every fall and contribute to you getting up each time, because sometimes you have to know how to pick your own self up, as well as learning how to handle those situations independently, sometimes. And those actors, if they are there through the fall and the standing up, they will grow to learn your weaknesses and just what things make you fall. And surprise surprise, they then have the ability to cause you to fall later on down the line when it is most beneficial to them. I might talk to my friends or family about some problems that frustrate me, but I never call them or talk to them during the actual downfall of Briahna. What I mean is, when I spent many nights crying over frustrations with school, insecurities, man problems.... I never called them in those exact moments because that was when my poker face was not present. When I came to terms in those moments that I might feel ugly, or that I was failing out of school last Fall, those were things that I had to deal with independently, and then when those dark times had passed, I was able to talk about them and my accomplishments with moving past them. I feel the need to get myself together before expressing my shortcomings with people, because sometimes, the advice and presence of other people is enough to keep you down in that slump. If I fall and get back up, I want it to be because I learned something and I had the strength to do it with the work of myself and God. When I give the advice that I give to friends about maintaining their voice and their strength, even good mental health, I don't want them to look back on my shortcomings and call my a hypocrite for the advice that I give based on them seeing me at my downfall. This poker face is more than a face, it is really a process that I have come to master.