I set deadlines for the new men that come into my life trying to get with me. What I mean is, I give myself a certain amount of time to get to know someone and see their good and bad, in order to determine whether or not I want to spend more time of my life with that person. I gave someone up until the end of this month to get over expressing his emotions and for him to simply tell me how he felt about me without me having to guess about it and... can I really be sit up shocked as I tell yall that there was no improvements over the course of three months time. He gets no more time in my life by the end of this month if things do not change. You see, when I meet someone, I tell them that it will not take me another 4 1/2 years to determine whether or not something is good or bad for me. You get three months to show me SOMETHING that is worth staying for. Three months of this "get to know you" stage. Three months of... "let me see your beautiful and ugly" and then I move forward and attempt to take you seriously, or I move on and try again? My uncle tells me all the time to not take any of the guys I express interest in seriously unless they SHOW me that they are serious. These three months are the time where I can see what a person is about, understand how they move, see how they handle everyday problems, and many other things. Over three months, people grow to be comfortable, which is how slip ups and mistakes come about. I have already made mistakes with my three months goal, yeah its a shocker that I am not perfect, lol... but, I still try. With these three months creeping up with this guy... I am coming to terms with the fact that, even though I am really into him, he is too dysfunctional to have anything like me in his life. He simply does not deserve me, no matter how bad I want him to change so that I can think otherwise. So, I ended up meeting someone else that I like and this three months period starts again. I check him out, I see the good, bad, and the ugly. I.... spend time with him and date him and see how the situation can grow if it does go up to three months and try again. I am no longer scared to try again because... my fairytale is out there doing the same thing I have been doing ... looking and preparing for me. With these three months, aside from these men... I am developing, changing, growing, and making mistakes, too. Its not even just about me, these men are checking me out too to see if I am what they really want. I love the idea of me setting up this time frame and establishing what it is and sticking with it because ... tomorrow is not guaranteed for me. And, if tomorrow is not guaranteed for me, I want to make sure that I spend my last days with people that are genuinely there for me. I want it to be spent with people that SEE me. People that love me/want to love me. People that.... want to do better and progress with me. People that..... do not cause me harm. I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out this dating thing and make it successful for me.
Girlfriends was by far one of the best television shows that I grew up watching, and still watch to this day... and when I think about the type of women/social circle that I would like to be around, Joan, Toni, Mya, and Lynn is exactly what it would look like. I remember starting off the sixth grade and traveling up until high school with a huge social circle filled with all these different types of girls and young women with varied personalities, values, and beliefs. Throughout that time, my social circle remained large, but there were some tweaks here and there and some people were not meant to last. What I mean is, we outgrow some relationships, we drain out some relationships, and we sometimes stop putting forth the effort to keep up effective relationships. Over the course of those years, I developed a lot of meaningful relationships and developed a slight sense of what type of people I wanted to be surrounded by. One of the major adjustments that I had throughout graduat...
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