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"B***h, I'm A College Senior, Now!"...



Yesterday was my last day of finals for my junior year. Yesterday, I became a senior in college. Yesterday, I packed up my room anxious to knock out another year. And today.... I graduate in exactly a year from today. I finished all my finals with passing grades, and compared to last semester, my grades are SPECTACULAR. Although I am having slight set backs in life right now, I still feel a bit of happiness and closure through ending this year. When I was in high school, my junior year was my most difficult, so I already knew my junior year in college would be the same. My junior year, I drove back home from college and didn't plan on coming back. My junior year, I lost a lover and bestfriend and gained it back in ways that I never imagined. My junior year, I lost and found myself. I struggled financially and got back up. I faced my fears and still survived. I tried to take my life and fought that battle on my own and stand here sharing my stories, today.... My junior year was a curse and blessing in one and no one understands the people and situations that I fought just to sit on that floor in that picture and take that final... let alone, complete this year successfully. College isn't easy, and that is why I feel so accomplished, today... because I really could've just walked away for the simple fact that it was hard. But, by the way my life is set up.... giving up isn't an option. Staying on the ground isn't an option because I have to get up and walk in order to get that diploma in my hands a year from today. I'm a fucking college senior right now and you couldn't tell me last semester that I would be here. I didn't even expect to see another day past my days last semester and I have and I stand in this empty dorm room looking around with tears boiling in my eyes because... Briahna look at you here standing. Look at you in this same room that you fought swallowing those pills in, this same room that you begged in, fought in, cried in, got weak in...... and this same room that you grew in, laughed in, got stronger in, and created beautiful memories in. If I never hear it from anybody, I am proud of myself. I get emotional looking at the snaps and Facebook posts of the people graduating tomorrow because they understand how hard the journey was, and they made it. I am going to walk across the stage that they walk across and experience those same emotions and have those same reactions that they will tomorrow. I gave up my keys to my RA and I shut my bedroom door and something in me gave me notification that the door just did not shut just to shut. I have the summer to do all the building and preparation that I need to do in order to come back here stronger. That door shut behind me and I left everything that I ever felt and fought in that room. With that door locked, I cannot revert back and I can do nothing but move forward. In this picture above, I'm on the ground, but my feet are still on that ground SOLID. I am down and probably have my head down, too, but.... it wont be down for long. And when I say it wont be down for long, it WAS NOT because I am standing, NOW. I am walking out of my dorm with a swagger to my walk and my head high. B***h, I'm a college senior, now.... 
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