Briahna's Journey

I said that, if he'd find his way back into my messages, my presence, my world in any way, shape, or form... I would give him a fair chance. I would give him the opportunity to win me over without making it hard on him, or driving him away purposefully because I'm scared. The past few nights, I've had these late-night conversations with God about what it is that I need to do in order to get to where I'm trying to go. I talked to him about exposing me to the right man, because the whole idea and existence of love is what I've wanted for the longest time, I truly don't believe that I am meant to be alone. I wanted to wake up every morning knowing that I was the first thought on someone else's mind, or wake up in someone's arms that didn't want to ever let me go. I wanted to be admired and appreciated in the same ways that I can do for him... Every night, God and I had the same conversation about bringing this one particular guy back into my life beca

How do you know that you have moved on from a situation and/or person? When you can speak positively on their name and wish them the same type of success and happiness that you wish upon yourself, your friends, and your loved ones without sarcasm and malice. It was easy for me to have said that I have moved on, but you do not really move on until you STOP saying that you have moved on, lol. For example, if you have to constantly say that you are not thinking about somebody, obviously you are if you feel the need to keep mentioning that person, so stop speaking those thoughts and that person into existence. Moving on takes time, and really, it takes even more time when you try to rush it. It addition to that, when you rush it and add more people into the equation (such as one-night stands and rebounds), you do nothing but complicate feelings that were already disorderly and confused. You find yourself "moving on" when you can see symbols of that person, and that person, and

Regret is one of those words that I have done a great job avoiding over the past few months, because it is not one that I enjoy to use. When we state that we regret situations, people, whatever.... we are disagreeing with the paths that were constructed specifically for us. We were meant to meet that person that embarrassed us, or broke our hearts. We were meant to experience that hangover in order to know to not drink Patron again, better yet, to not drink at all again... Everything happens for a reason and I tell people that, we cannot question why those things happened because we are supposed to walk away from those situations and people with lessons learned. We are supposed to grow from those situations and people that we like to label as "regrets" in order to make better decisions in the future. If you label something as a regret, you have not understood the lesson that was supposed to be learned from the situation that you were just in. Despite being in pain, being em

So, this morning, I came to realize that my parents were right, lol. They were right about dating, school, life.... they were just right. As a teenager, I felt like I lived in a very strict household because my parents wouldn't let me date like my friends were allowed to, or they wouldn't let me go to any co-ed parties when everyone else was able to... but now I realize the meaning behind them always telling me no and giving me those hour-long lectures. Throughout middle school and high school, I was a tad bit boy-crazed in the sense where I always called myself having a boyfriend despite my parents telling me that I was not able to. I would sneak around and they would always find out about it as if they already knew what I was gonna do and who it was going to involve. Every time my parents found out, they would give me these hour long lectures telling me about how boys were and all that they wanted. Me feeling as if I was super smart and well-informed about everything, f

I will not lie, I will not deny, that I have been a victim of peer pressure. People like to deny being a victim of it, for what reason I do not know, but I have been a victim a few times. Lets flash back to my freshman year of college... I went through a three-month period that was like a point in time where I experimented with different social groups, settings, and activities. I admit that I was going through a breakup at this time and I showed out a lot afterwards, but it was not until I had peer pressure, that I was more so "encouraged and eager" to indulge in all these different things. For new college students, I hope you recognize that it is a lot easier to slip into peer pressure than you may think. Peer pressure could simply be hanging in an environment surrounded by blunts and alcohol, and when you see everyone indulging in it, you feel out of place being the only one doing what is considered "the goody-goody thing". I was eighteen during my freshman year

It's something funny about the guy that has always been present while you were in relationship. The one that stood behind the scenes and waited to show his face until the exact moment where you became single....It's the guy that you cried to, never lied to, the one that could see right through you when you tried to keep a tough face and pretend like everything was fine. It's the guy that was systematic and the guy that built a friendship with you first so that you would love him prior to him broadcasting his feelings for you, it's the guy that you will always be grateful for. This man was six years plus mine, and I give partial credit to him for helping me to move on. I give credit to him for calling me on my crap and constantly reassuring me that I was right to do better for myself. This guy was my friend for the longest time, that eventually became the one that I'd give my all to. Whether a future is in store for us or not as a couple is up in the air, but the l

What the hell happened to old-fashioned and traditional dating? Like.... I appreciate a man that can actually call me, a text would also be fine, and ask "Can I take you out on a date?", lol. Like, do not talk to me about this movie coming out and assume that just because we talked about how good it was gonna be, that it equates into you asking me to go out on a date. I NEED THE WORDS. When I had my guy friends come around my family, date or not, they said to always look for the man to open all doors, and I look for that naturally now, even though I thought it was a bit much when I was younger. On a date, if YOU ask ME out, I expect you to have money to take me out.... I do not expect to come out of pocket and you were the one that had interest in taking me out and getting to know me. Dating is kind of like that re-evaluation that you may have to do for your job every so often for your employer to determine whether or not you should keep your job, lmao... Now, let me bac

As young as thirteen, I walked around my parent's house thinking that I could not wait until I could be an adult and get out of their house. I could not wait until I went to college, and when I chose that college, it would be far enough to where my parents couldn't just pop up. I could not wait until I had kids because they would have their cars on their sixteenth birthdays and I would not be as strict as my parents were. I could not wait until I could count my own money and have no one controlling my every move and telling me what to do... Adulthood is overrated. Once I put my two feet on the ground and declared myself an adult, I wanted to do and see everything that being an adult entailed. I wanted to experience paying bills, working long hours, and get a car of all things. After going through on and off periods of financial success, increased bills, and working seven hours of work everyday... I take everything that I said back and I wish to go back to a time where my mom

Choosing a college requires more time and preparation than my parents or high school educators could have ever told me. I started looking at universities as young as my sophomore year of high school, but I feel as if I was still unprepared and needed more time. To this day, I feel as if I made the wrong decision in my college choice, but I try to make the best of it. One thing that I would like to pass on to my high school viewers is that, if college is the route you want to take, you have to take the time to actually visit the schools you're interested in, do your research on those schools, and put in the work to get FREE MONEY. When I started looking up colleges, I did so with the intentions of keeping my relationship together, which is something that I do not recommend for anyone. When you look into colleges, with not only your grades and qualifications, but someone else's as well, college searching becomes a lot harder because what if a school that you want accepts you,

So, when I first left my last relationship, one of the questions that I had a few women Snapchat me about was, "How did you do it?" The situation doesn't deserve much life, but simply put, I left a four and a half year relationship, and since I figured women face this particular issue regularly, I thought it was important to blog about. If I were still in a relationship with this person, I would probably be asking a woman in my position now, how could she walk away from a relationship that she invested that much time and energy in? But, the gag is, I don't regret any of it because the pain I experienced, along with the happiness prior to allowed me to see a clearer picture of what my mate should and should not act like. Yes, it was hard.... but would it not have been harder to continue in a state of being miserable for not just three months, but maybe six months, or maybe a year... it makes no sense to keep yourself in any environment or situation where you are not

Concerning ourselves with the actions of others is what steers us away from our own journeys. What I mean is, when we busy ourselves with what the next person has on, what the next person says about us, or trying to put the next person down, we are stopping our journey just to invest in theirs. We are stopping our journey just to brighten their light, while darkening our own. My grandfather is the number one person that I think of when I say this because, he always makes it a habit of staying in his own lane. My grandfather is always worrying about bettering himself and others around him versus worrying about what anyone has to say about him and what it is that he is trying to do. Saying this is super easy to do, but I am human and doing this definitely takes practice and time. When people make it a habit to speak on my character, I used to be quick to retaliate with comments and negativity, but I told you once before that negativity is contagious and addictive. Always snapping back

One thing that has become a new goal in the every day life of mine is to have and spread positivity. When you clear your mind of negativity and clear your environment of bad influences and bad energy, the sky becomes bluer than it normally is. The air becomes better than it once was before, and you see things a lot clearer than you once did. I take numerous classes that provide me with a diverse educational background at my university, and being positive provides a lot of benefits for the body. When you rid yourself of negativity (whether it is things, people, or places), you find yourself having more energy, being less tired, and smiling more, for example. You find yourself quickly avoiding the things that can gravitate you away from that happy place because you understand the benefits to having positivity all around you. For me, I found things to be more in my favor once I stopped being negative as a person, and allowing negativity to be around me as well. At a point in time, I enc

Why does being single come with so many bad associations? As if being single is a sin, or that it makes you lonely and incapable of finding someone else... Over the past few months, I have had the opportunity to see a different side of myself and I have also developed my own personal definition of what being single is. It was not until I was alone, that I realized the true value of loving yourself before presenting yourself to someone else, which was one of the most important things that I could have ever learned while being alone. The first month or so that I spent being single, I went through this trial period that I liked to call "Dating Myself". It sounds silly, but through that month of dating myself, I became more clear on what I wanted for myself and within a mate. I spent time taking myself out to eat, shopping, and just rediscovering the things that I loved and finding my own happy place, and for anyone that lost themselves throughout their relationships, I recomme

One of the most challenging parts of my life was not applying for college, getting dropped off for my first day of college, or fitting in for college. I found one of the most difficult aspects of college was going through the journey of finding myself surrounded around unfamiliar people, new difficulties, and unfamiliar surroundings. My mother experienced maybe a semester of community college, but as far as that, I am a first-generation college student. With that being said, I could not ask some of the most knowledgeable people in my life how to deal with the challenges that I faced in college. In high school, I was a straight A and B student that turned out to be an average student when college hit. You go from never failing a class to barely passing a college class, convincing yourself to skip a day due to partying the previous night, and trying to keep your sanity while balancing friendships and relationships along the way. It was not until this very semester of college that I found

Hi! My name is Briahna Paige and welcome to my blog! This blog was originated for my own personal use (mainly to document my journey and have something to look back on later) and to possibly help, inspire, and/or motivate other people. I am currently a junior at Missouri Western State University that is going through my first semester as a Population Health Management (Human Health) major. I am originally from Saint Louis, MO and am 20 years old (halfway child/halfway adult) anxious for new experiences and journeys. I hope that my blog can become something to inspire a few people and hopefully I can be relatable to you as well through the experiences that I share with you. Stay tuned and thanks for reading! Love, Briahna