Briahna's Journey

My post had over 250 comments and 18 shares as of writing this blog. So, all different types of men come in my dms messaging me with different purposes. I've gotten nudes in my messages, wanna-be thugs, nerds, mixtapes, drama, and all these other things in my messages, but today was the ultimate breaking point for me. This guy, who has been trying to get with me for years, came in my messages trying to talk to me, which I denied, and he in return got potty within the mouth and said some disrespectful things to me. There were a few reasons why I shared the messages on Facebook and Snapchat that I really want to share. For starters, there are right and wrong ways to approach women when you come in their direct messages. I don't know how other people were raised, but meeting and talking to people online is already something sketchy because you don't really have a sure perception of how this person is through something where we can be who we want to be. Behind computer scr

Love is... my greatest weakness. Love is... my greatest success and greatest failure. Because, when love is kind to me... Briahna is at her best. Briahna is always smiling, there is nothing but positivity in my life, I am at my best and achieving the most. But, when love is mean to me... everything that was once beautiful becomes ugly and my life becomes dark. It is me versus everyone and everything and it is me going from strong to weak. It is.... me going from being the brightest star in the sky to the mud underneath someone's shoes. I like to think that we have multiple examples of love in our lives. Whether it is that first early stage of love where we establish some type of foundation for what love is. Or, maybe it is that love that we thought was everlasting, but gravitated towards being toxic? And... then there is that love that you apply all those lessons you learned into and this just might be the one that results in the kids and marriage. I like to believe that I

I set deadlines for the new men that come into my life trying to get with me. What I mean is, I give myself a certain amount of time to get to know someone and see their good and bad, in order to determine whether or not I want to spend more time of my life with that person. I gave someone up until the end of this month to get over expressing his emotions and for him to simply tell me how he felt about me without me having to guess about it and... can I really be sit up shocked as I tell yall that there was no improvements over the course of three months time. He gets no more time in my life by the end of this month if things do not change. You see, when I meet someone, I tell them that it will not take me another 4 1/2 years to determine whether or not something is good or bad for me. You get three months to show me SOMETHING that is worth staying for. Three months of this "get to know you" stage. Three months of... "let me see your beautiful and ugly" and the

Save yourself for someone that deserves it. Protect yourself by all means. Get on birth control. Losing your virginity hurts. You give off a piece of yourself and emotions with each person that you sleep with. And... today I heard, to understand my cycle enough to the point where I never allow myself to have unprotected sex ten days after my cycle because those are the days where I am most prone to getting pregnant and the ultimate goal is to NOT get pregnant until I get financially stable, get my degrees, and get a ring on my finger. You know how older people just talk? And sometimes you wanna sit up and hear the hours worth of wisdom, while other times you try to find any and every excuse to get out of it. Today, I took the time to hear it, understand it, and think of how to apply it. I got a lot of information today, with some of it meant for me to share, and other parts of it... I am just going to keep to myself because its a part of my own personal message. Anyways, this o

How do you deal with loving someone that has baggage? This isn't necessarily a question for me, but it is a question that I have in general. So, if a man comes to you prior to developing anything with you and makes you aware of his shortcomings/insecurities/etc. and you choose to move forward and try to pursue something, are you at fault for all that might occur afterwards? I ask myself these questions every so often because, although I was made aware, some things that occurred within my interaction with this man were not anticipated. Although someone says that they have problems with commitment, does that give them an excuse to treat you like shit or lie to you? I would think that... if I am making a person aware of my shortcomings, then I am making them aware with hopes of establishing something with them and attempting to be better. I knew the challenges that this man faced based on how much he told me, but he left me out of the loop on a lot of things. He waited un

I remember back when I used to give you wedgies whenever mom and dad would leave us home alone together. Or... I remember back when it would storm late at night, and in the middle of my sleep, I would hear your feet tip toe into my room and you sneaking into my bed. It was something about you always coming into my room and sleeping in my bed that made me really feel like a big sister because you left your own room to get away from the storm, but the irony was that my room had some of the biggest windows and you actually moved even closer to the storm by being in there with me. I remember... us banging on the walls in the kitchen over the summer when mom and dad were at work and making up raps and rapping for hours. Tomorrow, my little bug-a-boo and firecracker graduates and I'm having mixed emotions about it. When I look at you, sister, I look at you as that little chocolate girl with the braids and clear beads. It blows my mind to see you develop curves and boobs and talk abo

His name in my phone is his name, plus the red heart, and lastly the sad face. I add his full name and not his nickname because it reminds me to keep boundaries and restrictions on what we have. I have the heart because sometimes he is everything that I want him to be, with the sad face at the end because it brings me back to the reality of some of the things that he does to me. I often black out and stare into space and have my conversations and prayers with God. I told you guys that I talk to Him in my own way.... But anyways, I sit and I talk to him and I ask him what is my purpose and what lesson am I missing for him to keep bringing me these broken people that need to be fixed? Leos are said to have the ability to fix and influence others, and if that be the case, I ask Him why do I have to get hurt in the process? There are so many situations that this man has put me through that damn near exceed what I have ever dealt with and I look to God through every situation with tear

Yesterday was my last day of finals for my junior year. Yesterday, I became a senior in college. Yesterday, I packed up my room anxious to knock out another year. And today.... I graduate in exactly a year from today. I finished all my finals with passing grades, and compared to last semester, my grades are SPECTACULAR. Although I am having slight set backs in life right now, I still feel a bit of happiness and closure through ending this year. When I was in high school, my junior year was my most difficult, so I already knew my junior year in college would be the same. My junior year, I drove back home from college and didn't plan on coming back. My junior year, I lost a lover and bestfriend and gained it back in ways that I never imagined. My junior year, I lost and found myself. I struggled financially and got back up. I faced my fears and still survived. I tried to take my life and fought that battle on my own and stand here sharing my stories, today.... My junior year was

So, what do you do when someone comes to you about something concerning you and the person you are involved with? Let that question simmer. Today, I was having a normal conversation with one of my girl friends and, in the mix, the person that I was involved with got mentioned and there went my heart racing. One of the things that I do when I meet somebody is spend a lot of time asking questions about the past, current, and future in hopes of preventing situations like that from happening. And throughout the process of dating, I have learned to make myself more approachable in a way where the other person feels comfortable not lying and talking to me. I do this in the beginning because I never want to be caught off guard when it comes to someone that I am with. No one should be able to tell me where my man has been, who he is with, what he is doing.... before I know it, because then you go through that moment where you feel stupid. Anyways, I had to confront him on the situation an

When you're young, validating your relationship through others is a natural habit. It's not like we purposefully broadcast every aspect of our relationship with the intention of having people envious of us.... we just want to show that we have SOMEBODY. I used to be the type to be bothered by not being on my partner's social media because we live in a point in time where, if you aren't on it.... people view that as that person being sneaky and talking to multiple people at once. It took me growing up to realize that was not the case for everybody. I walked into my new situation wanting something different for myself and expecting different from my partner. I strived to not walk into another situation where every aspect of my relationship was known to others, where their thoughts on what I had going on had power, or where I felt the need to act accordingly in the relationship for the sake of keeping this perfect perception. Even though I was 100% invested into m

Prayer for me is extremely individualized and solely based on my own comfort. I like to think that... when I get most vulnerable and talk with God, I am in the most comfortable and peaceful state of mind that I can be in. My father used to always tell my sister and I to pray more than besides having a plate in front of us, and how we pray doesn't really matter as long as we do pray. And for me.... prayer is through my moments of silence, spaced out, focusing on something far off... laying down in my bed. Whether it is when I first open my eyes or right before I close them. So, tonight I lay.... : "Today, God... I understood your signs more than ever that it is my time to find my purpose and I wish to be guided in the right direction in order to reach it. I can never be quite sure of what you want me to do or where you want me to go, but I am willing to try. I understand that everything works around your time and you will present what you need to present for me to see