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BIRTHDAY EDITION !!!!!! 21 21 21 !!!!!!!


Today marks twenty-one years of living for me, and the very first thought I have on it is... "thank you, God." I took off four days (Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) to celebrate my day because there has been a lot for me to celebrate and its bigger than just any other day and any other celebration. For starters, everyone doesn't have the ability to reach twenty-one.... and God blessed me with the opportunity to enter into it and see what I am able to do with it. I am typically the youngest in the bunch, therefore, a lot of my friends are already twenty one. I have had the ability to sit back and watch how they handle that age and all the responsibility that comes with it, and I decided to set goals for myself. With being 21, the blessing and the curse of it is that you are now in a time where you can go out and buy just about any and everything. Everything that you have been wanting to get, sneaking to get, probably paying other people to get.... you can now go out and get it just by showing one little card and get how much you want, whenever you want. Some people are able to take that and be responsible with it, while others take it and go wild. I have had my experiences with alcohol and drugs before reaching the appropriate ages, and I am partially thankful for those experiences because I know how I plan to take on 21+. I know what drinks to avoid because some will make me get too sloppy, or I know how many drinks of what to indulge in because I know it will make me feel crappy in the morning. The experiences were a blessing and have allowed me to enter into this point in time humbly. Today represents that responsibility and gratefulness of reaching 21. Earlier on in this, I stated that there was a lot to celebrate and you know I am going to have to tell you why. You know that my blogs have decreased in volume due to my newfound responsibilities this summer, but in addition to that, I have also been taking the time out to enjoy life. Not for a man, not for my parents, not for friends... I am taking the time to enjoy life for myself without any regrets. I am doubling up on work obligations, but I am also doubling up on going out and living life as well. I want to.... spend my four days of celebration drinking with purpose. And what I mean is, each shot, each sip of whatever is gonna have a meaning behind it even though I might be far gone. One shot, I guess, will go to "making it", because … I shouldn't have. Last September was supposed to be my death month, yet I failed and if I didn't fail... I wouldn't have friendships like I have, the love that I have, the joy that I have, nor all the accomplishments that I have made and am continuing to make. For me to go from hating my life through the actions of another person to loving my life over time is beauty on its own, and that is one of my biggest accomplishments. The next shot... I suppose that will be balancing two jobs and doing what I need to do to make it in this world. Working two jobs is not the easiest thing to do by any means, especially if one of the jobs is an overnight job. I have struggled to change sleeping schedules and keep up my energy through working two jobs at once, but I have pushed through for the simple fact that.... I have bills to pay and I don't aspire to live check to check. This generation is based on "quick and easy money", and that's not how I move. I work a job that might be viewed as a "man's job". I sweat, lol. I work in non-airconditioned working environments and lift boxes while most people are in their bed resting. All by choice. Explain to me why I shouldn't feel accomplished or proud of myself for pushing through because most women wouldn't do it. Definitely, a shot for me. And besides all of that, I have friendships and relationships with people now that are genuinely positive and healthy. I am surrounded around women that support, and support 100% without hating attached to it. I have friends that will call me on my shit whether I'll curse them out or not, and that type of honesty and realness in this world is lacking. My parents and I, healthy. My sister and I, thick as thieves. My dating life, eventful and knowledgeable with slight twists and turns, but I AM LEARNING. The year of twenty was a year of demolishment and rebuilding, so who knows what twenty-one will have for me, but just know that I am entering into it HAPPY. The smiles that I faked for years are suddenly real, and I am living for myself for the first time in 4 1/2 years. Yes, I might get a little wild for the next four days to celebrate my life, but I think it is long overdue. 

***Happy Birthday to my bestfriend Mackenzie on this day, as well.* 
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